i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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