On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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