No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I want a musical about memes.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
