Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
