My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
