just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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