Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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