I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
