Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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