if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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