How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
