forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
