the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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