I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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