Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
