Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
