Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
