So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
