He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
