how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
