Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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