I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
