You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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