i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
