We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
