Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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