After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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