Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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