How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
