Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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