Swine flu. Run for my life!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I pour the whiskey from now on
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
