I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
