Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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