yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
organizing the empties. That sober.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
