I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
we're so committed to being not committed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
