so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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