i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize