Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
