He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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