Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
