That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
