3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
