where am i from again
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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