I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
