Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
