I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
