I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
