don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
