She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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