we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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