If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
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