Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
