Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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