how can u be prego again
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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