Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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