I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
third nipple confirmed
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize