I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
