Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
