sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
