You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
