dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
