I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
