How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
