I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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