I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
