how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
