you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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