I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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