She went from zero to smokin in five shots
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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