i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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