Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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