I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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